CBT PRACTITIONER / LIFE COACH
Coach Ziana, CBT
coach-ziana.com
coachziana@gmail.com
Trade Self-Victimization For Empowerment.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapist & Life Coach. Certified by the Academy of Modern Psychology.
How to stop playing "Victim."
This transition begins with mindset. Shift the mindset from external blame to accepting personal accountability. It's about cultivating self-awareness and developing an empowered view. The goal here is to develop strategies that include:
Taking responsibility for whatever role one plays in any given situation.
Focusing on positives,
Setting small goals to build confidence,
Setting boundaries with toxic influences.
Steps to Stop Playing the Victim:
Take Responsibility: Accept that you are responsible for your life, decisions, and emotions. Shift from asking "Why me?" to "What can I learn from this?" or "What can I do about this?"
Resist The "Yuh-buts:" I've found that people who play victim very often are resistant to change. Actually, most people who are deeply caught up in any habit resist change. Often, when a suggestion for a solution or change is offered, the "victim" will come back with, "Yuh but, here's why it won't work. Yuh but I don't think that way. Yuh but, I'm not that kind of person." You get the idea. One must be willing to resist deflecting any and every suggestion for improvement in favour of remaining inside the victim's mentality.
Identify Triggers and Patterns: Recognize when you are falling into a "poor me" mindset, such as complaining, blaming others, or feeling helpless. In this digital world, that also means refraining from posting regular self-victimizing status updates, photos, or videos to solicit pity from others. Try taking a break from Social Media (detoxing) if that is where you do most of your "Sadfishing."
Shift to an Empowered Mindset: Focus on your energy on what you can control rather than the obstacles outside your control.
Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what is lacking, which helps break the cycle of self-pity.
Set Boundaries: Limit time with people who encourage you to indulge in the victim mentality.
Develop Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you make this transition, acknowledging that breaking long-term habits takes time.
Persist. Even after set-backs, keep up the effort. "Rewiring the brain" takes time, and you must be persistent. A University College London (UCL) study found that, on average, it takes 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic, so stick with it. Anything worth having isn't easy to get.
Be well.
Coach Ziana.
