Coach Ziana

Don't let them fool you. You are not your fancy car, your modern devices, implants, body type, hair color, designer clothing, or anything else that Social Media pressures you into being. If you could grow into the greatest "you" that you were meant to be, you'd never need to copy anyone else -- ever again. You would be the "influencer," not the "influenced."

Sanity Called...It Wants You Back.

It's a crazy world we're living in, and that much is obvious to everyone. When we scroll down our Social Media newsfeeds we're inundated with a sh*t storm of rage coming from all sides. Yet, we keep going back for more. It's something like watching a train-wreck in real time, isn't it?

Indulge me for a few minutes. Let's imagine that your vehicle is stalled between two railway tracks. The one at the intersection behind you has a train chugging along smoothly. No problems there. All you have to do is wait for it to pass. You and a few dozen other drivers. You could listen to some music, talk on your phone, or whatever.

Imagine that on the railway in front of you, the train crashes, with a few cars getting derailed, people screaming, some getting injured, that whole ugly scene. Soon you hear ambulances approaching. I can almost guarantee that nobody will get out of their vehicles to go watch the smoothly-running train on the other track. You can also rest assured that a whole bunch of drivers are going to hurry from their vehicles to go see how bad the situation is with the derailed train.

Social Media platforms are like that. It's an online disaster but we keep going back to see if anyone has anymore sh*t to add to that mess. We all do it. But you know what? If you do that often enough and long enough, you can actually rewire your brain, and from there you'll most likely start spiralling into a state of depression. If you're not already there. Most people don't really care about the science behind why and how that happens, so I won't get into it, but it's a thing. A very real thing.

So, I've come up with a list of things you could do to try to break away from that insanity, and try to find some joy in life again. Yes, it is ugly out there. Yes, our world is in a mess. Listen, I'm in Canada. Right now, there's a big orange gorilla banging his chest and proclaiming how he wants to run roughshod across the Canadian border to make our country another one of his states. Um...no. Ain't gonna happen. The mad ape can swing around on somebody else's chandeliers.

The point is, the world is an insane asylum but amid all of this we really, seriously need to find our inner calm again. Mostly, there isn't much we can actually do to change what the ape is doing or planning, but we can chisel some time out of our personal lives to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health so that we do have something to fight back with if need be. Otherwise, we're all going to get tapped out, and probably go mad. So, here's my list of possible escapes:

1. What did you used to do before online life became so all-important? Hobbies? Groups? Why not get back to some of that? Hobbies can improve one's mental health and provide numerous cognitive benefits.

2. If you don't want to hear all the negative or political banter filling your newsfeed, but you don't want to deactivate your social media page either, what about creating a private group on Social Media, where you invite only your close family and friends to share information that's important to them—photos, births, marriages, divorces, anything relevant to your life and theirs, while at the same time making them aware that this is a place to find comfort in meaningful exchange, not to dive into more political BS. In this way you can still pop over to your primary social media page now and then to see if you missed anything genuinely important, but while you're trying to detox from all the madness, you'll still have your private group to connect with.

3. Take a few minutes out of each day to reconnect with the universe/Creator/God, or even just your own higher self. You can do that with prayer, meditation, or both. Whatever works for you. The point is to forget past and future, and focus only on the now. There are thousands of meditation videos on Youtube. I'm sure you can find one that's a good fit for you. If you can't do this daily, even once a week will have its benefits.

4. How long has it been since you've actually used a library card? Why not go to an actual physical library for a little while to browse, sit, read a bit, see other human beings who may be trying to escape the madness, just like you are. Before the internet and social media came along, I used to love checking a few good books out of the library and then finding a nice, quiet restaurant somewhere, where I could sit by myself with a cup of coffee and browse through my bagful of literary gems. While you're at it, why not have a delicious meal all by yourself, savoring every bite? Make those moments yours.

5. Take a spa day. Manicure, pedicure, facial. If you know of a friend who needs a reality break, you can do this together, maybe watch a movie.

6. Or you could go out to a movie theater with a friend, eat some popcorn, and enjoy the company of someone else...like, in person...for real.

7. Get some exercise outdoors, if possible. You don't have to run a marathon. You could just walk for a block or two to clear your head.

8. Study something online. Social Media has got most of us addicted, let's face it. Social Media platforms use algorithms to show you more and more of what you give your attention to. They do this because they want you to stay logged into their platform for as long as possible, because they make their money from all those ads you see in your newsfeeds. However, the Internet can be so much more useful. Isn't there anything you would like to learn more about? Astronomy? Geography? Genealogy? Scrapbooking? Flower arranging?  Ancient civilizations? Art? Pottery? Fashion? Anything? There are numerous sites online that offer courses, some at very reasonable prices. Hunt around. Find something you'd love to know more about, that is within your budget, and dedicate some time to enriching your own knowledge base. Expand your mental horizons. Learn something new.

9. Learn to play a musical instrument. Why the heck not? Nobody's saying you have to want to be a rock star. Do it for no other reason than you love music. That's the only reason you need.

10. If you have children, introduce them to 3D puzzles. Or you can do this with a partner, a friend, spouse, or by yourself.

11. Build a model galleon ship, or a race car, or anything you love. Seriously. That's some kind of fun and once you start, it'll be hard to break yourself free. A few years ago I got hooked on building a model Spanish galleon. It took me three months to finish this thing, and I am so proud of it. Building this galleon required my full attention, so that was a great way to relax.

12. Try a new hairdo. I know. It sounds hokey, but a new hairdo can make a body feel brand new.

These are just some ideas to help you break free of the insanity for a while. I'm not suggesting you fill your days with any of these things. I'm only suggesting that you try one or two, once or twice a week. I'm suggesting that you do something for yourself. Because we all need a break now and then.

Until next time,

Please be well.

Coach Ziana.

Is CBT for you?

Click on image above to see more cool Brain-Pops!

Click on image above to see more cool Brain-Pops!

Coach Ziana.

When it comes to Social Media Addiction, I'm not here to make anyone comfortable. I'm not an easy chair. I'm here to tackle some of the issues plaguing our society, from Social Media addiction to the negative affect that some of our most iconic idols are having on our very impressionable youth.

If we don't tackle these issues head-on, they may very well destroy us, our families, our relationships, our careers, our very lives.

Please take a few minutes to click over to "Social Media Addition Statistics."  Some are downright frightening.

Make a difference...share your story.

If Social Media Addiction and/or misuse has negatively impacted your life or the lives of those you love, you may be part of the solution by sharing your story. I'm not asking for your real name. In fact, please do not give your real name or the real names of anyone involved, for your own privacy and protection. Just share your story honestly and from the heart by using the form below to contact me. I am sorry for all you've been through, and I thank you for your courage in advance.

Photo courtesy of Lisa Folios

Connect with Coach Ziana to share your story.

Smartphones: It’s Time to Confront Our Global Addiction | Dr. Justin Romano

This video is about 15 minutes long, but well worth viewing. If you don't have time to watch it now, please bookmark this page and return to it later.

Help is available:

Teen Suicide Hotline.

PLEASE use it. You are so precious and valuable. You ARE worthy. You are loved.

9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline. Call or text.

Hours: 24/7

Website: https://988.ca

I'll try to find more for different countries.

The Science Behind Social Media Addiction (and how to break free.)

How To Stop Social Media Addiction.

When Your Spouse Overuses Social Media.

Keeping teens safe on social media: What parents should know to protect their kids