Welcome to The Underbelly Bar.
This is where we talk about the things people do that make you stop and say, “Uh... no. In NO universe is that okay.”
We can examine the childhood wounds, attachment styles, cognitive distortions, and drag out the neuroscience, but we all know that sometimes the answer is still a cocked eyebrow accompanied by, “Yeah...no. You were an asshole.”
No pop-psychology word salad is going to save the day.
This isn't therapy. It isn't diagnosis. It isn't a place to excuse shitty behaviour by giving it a fancy psychological name.
This is my un-blog.
A place for observations, opinions, uncomfortable questions, questionable human behaviour, and the occasional moment when psychology meets common sense at the bar. I mean, there's a big difference between understanding the psychology behind someone's behaviour and endorsing it, right? That's a no-brainer.
Pull up a chair.
The drinks are questionable. The questions are not. So let's explore moral responsibility, rationalization, boundaries, manipulation, hypocrisy, accountability, relationships, social norms, and all those deliciously uncomfortable human questions.
Scroll down for a list of touchy topics.
THE UNDERBELLY MENU
Links to each article will become active as they are written and added, so bookmark the page and come back now and again.
The Secret Stash: Why are you keeping other people's pictures on your phone?
Screw the Grey Areas — privacy, secrecy, and “It's nothing.”
You Are Not Responsible for Other People's Feelings — and where that statement gets abused.
When Understanding Becomes Excusing.
Why Do We Keep Calling Bad Behaviour a Trauma Response?
The Psychology of “I Didn't Mean It Like That.”
When Boundaries Become Weapons.
“That's Just Who I Am.” — personality or convenient excuse?
The Difference Between an Explanation and an Excuse.
When “Self-Care” Becomes Selfishness.
Why Some People Need to Be the Victim.
When Honesty Becomes Cruelty.
Why We Stay in Relationships We Know Are Bad for Us.
The Things We Do When Nobody Is Watching.
Can You Understand Someone Without Forgiving Them?
GOT A TOPIC?
Something bothering you? Something you've witnessed that made you think, “What the hell is THAT about?”
Author • CLC • CBT Practitioner
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